Signs you might be experiencing psychosis March 30, 2014Posted by indigomind in Diagnosis.
Tags: psychosis, psychotic depression, voices
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- You feel like your neighbors, at a great distance, are electrocuting you while you are on a trip and you think the way to make it stop is to read the Bible and recharge your flashlight
- You think your car might explode at any time without anyone suggesting there is something wrong with your car
- You are convinced that the neighbors below your apartment have a death ray and your yoga mat might offer some protection
- You hear your neighbors in the apartment say that they are going to kill you
- In your apartment you hear your neighbors talking and when you leave your apartment you can still hear them talk about you a great distance away
- It occurs to you that you might be spiritual conduit for the universe
- You believe that your neighbors below are conducting a sleep deprivation experiment on you
- Voices convince you that part of the experiment is to run to the emergency room around sixteen times and that it is all paid for
- Sometimes the voices tell you you are a genius and other times they taunt you. At one time they insisted that I take a bow and I did.
- The voices tell you that your rent is paid for when it hasn’t been
- You believe that a group of psychiatrists are conducting an experiment and their voices for some reason are coming from your closet
- You are convinced that your neighbors are electrocuting you from below
- You are convinced that your neighbors can read your mind and you feel incredible guilt about your thoughts
- You cover the sprinkler system with tape because you are convinced that the sprinkler heads might contain cameras
- You think your neighbors like your cooking and so you deliver a salad to their doorstep
- The voices convince you that both of your parents are dead
- You hear one of your neighbors rage in the apartment below and it scares you so much you decide to sleep in your car
- You believe the psychiatry department is trying to diagnose you and the neighbors below work for the psychiatrists conducting the experiment
- The voices convince you to take down your blog because your blog is harming the mentally ill
- You believe putting your labtop in the bathtub with water might stop the experiment
- You thinking throwing your phone out the window as you drive might prevent the voices from tracking you.
- After one visit to the emergency department you believe someone placed a device in your ear and it might be causing the voices
As bizarre as these sound I think there was a thread of truth. My neighbors acted like they didn’t like me. At one point the female screamed and pointed at my apartment, ” that woman never leaves” as they left in their car. Many other voices were of people whom I had dealt with in the past. Some of these voices were of psychiatrists I had met with in the past as a patient and as a potential lab volunteer( I have a science degree), who treated me rather poorly. Other voices were of my previous employers who had recently eliminated my position. Because of this thread of truth it was difficult to tell reality from fantasy.
Despite all these strange thoughts I appeared rather normal to most people and was turned away from the emergency room around fifteen of the sixteen times that I went.
When is it ok to lie to your psychopharmacologist? March 1, 2014Posted by indigomind in Pharmacology.
Tags: BDI, depression, pharmaceuticals
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It’s been a year now since I have experimented with a variety of pharmaceuticals in order to treat my psychotic depression and of the various drugs the only one that seemed to work for certain was the antipsychotic. The antidepressants and mood stabilizers are harder to assess. As I have mentioned before my main way to measure my depression was the Beck Depression Inventory (BDI ) test and according to it my scores have varied within the moderate range but not much more.
Recently I added up the amount I spent on my pdoc and realized it had been a little over $2,000. At this point it occurred to me that I need to find some way to extricate myself from this pdoc. As long as I complain about my condition he will endlessly suggest new drugs. His most recent addition was Adderall for my fatigue. Adderall is an amphetamine and does not in my opinion get to the root of my fatigue which is due to poor sleep.
So when I filled out my mood questionnaire I lied to a degree and the pdoc didn’t seem to notice. I reported feeling better even though my BDI scores said otherwise. It bothers me to lie but I feel I have invested enough time and money in this pdoc.
New Yorker cartoon February 24, 2014Posted by indigomind in Humor.
Tags: New Yorker cartoon
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Blog for mental health 2014 February 18, 2014Posted by indigomind in Uncategorized.
Tags: blog, Mental health
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“I pledge my commitment to the Blog for Mental Health 2014 Project. I will blog about mental health topics not only for myself, but for others. By displaying this badge, I show my pride, dedication, and acceptance for mental health. I use this to promote mental health education in the struggle to erase stigma.”
If you want to take the pledge. http://acanvasoftheminds.com/2014/01/07/blog-for-mental-health-2014/
A summary of my experience with mental health. http://indigomoodrhythms.wordpress.com/about/
I can’t change … February 17, 2014Posted by indigomind in Quotes, Uncategorized.
Tags: inspirational, quotes
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I can’t change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination.– Jimmy Dean
Pitta, spices and hypomania February 7, 2014Posted by indigomind in Alternative medicine, Diet.
Tags: ayurveda, depression, hypomania
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I’m feeling rather agitated today. I think I have been consuming too many foods that aggravate the Pitta dosha. When this happens I often become more agitated, motivated and confident. When Pitta is aggravated or out of balance some symptoms of depression appear to be counteracted and some of those would be apathy,lack of confidence and sleepiness. Sleep reduction, irritability, and an increase in confidence– there is something interesting going on here and it resembles hypomania.
I have experienced this response from diet for many years however I don’t necessarily enjoy the experience because of the extreme irritability. It would be nice to know what is going on here and how one could increase confidence and motivation without the irritability. Recently I read that spices such as chili cause an increase in adrenaline and consequently an increase in energy. Certain spices were even recommended as a substitute for caffeine.
Adrenaline is a natural substance that is released by the body during the stress response.If your adrenaline was too high, you would feel many manic symptoms, such as speediness, hyperactivity, anxiety, and irritability. If your adrenalin was low, you would feel many symptoms of bipolar depression, such as fatigue, low motivation, and increased sleepiness.– The Bipolar Handbook
Ayurveda is interesting to experiment with and it would be helpful to hear experiences from other people.